My trailer at dusk, somewhere in the desert
STEP RIGHT UP, FRIEND — YOU FOUND ME

THE TESTICLE
TABERNACLE

Three hundred twelve preserved pairs. One converted milk truck. One man who was not going to let any of it get thrown away.

KEPT, HAULED & PERSONALLY GUARANTEED BY REGGIE OSTERHOUT — OATMAN, ARIZONA (EVENTUALLY)

29
YEARS HAULING
312
PAIRS IN MY KEEPING
0
JARS BROKE. EVER.
$5,214
IN THE COFFEE CAN SO FAR
“Ladies and gentlemen, I'll tell you what I tell every soul who walks up my ramp: I do not keep these for laughs and I have never kept them for money. Every jar in my truck was the beginning of a living thing. The world tossed them in the bin. I did not. That's the whole show, and it's a good one.”
Me, Reggie Osterhout
Reggie Osterhout
Keeper of the Balls, Driver of the Truck
MOVED TO OATMAN, ARIZONA FOR THE DONKEYS. STAYING FOR EVERYTHING ELSE.
STEP INSIDE THE TRAILER

Behold! Three of the Three Hundred Twelve

Every pair rides with its ledger line — species, county, story, and the name of the fine American who couldn't throw it away either. Here's a taste. The other three hundred nine you'll have to see with your own eyes, and you will not be sorry.

No. 001
THE JAR THAT STARTED IT ALL • 1997

Roscoe’s Pair

BLUE HEELER • THE BEST DOG THERE EVER WAS

My own dog. My own jar. Rode in the cab with me twelve years and the jar rides there still, on a velvet shelf I screwed in myself. Last thing loaded, first thing unloaded, every stop, no exceptions, don't ask.

PAIR #001 OF 312THE FOUNDING PAIR
No. 094
THE BIG ONES • 2008

Two-Ton Tony’s Pair

AFRICAN ELEPHANT • CIRCUS RETIREE • TEXAS

Largest pair in the keeping, entrusted to me by a circus man's estate. Took a custom case, a dedicated axle, and more paperwork than my divorce. Folks drive three states to stand in front of these and I understand why.

PAIR #094 OF 312BIGGEST IN CAPTIVITY
No. 312
THE NEWEST ARRIVAL • THIS SPRING

The Latest Pair

SPECIES WITHHELD TILL YOU VISIT • I LIKE A CROWD

Every season the keeping grows, and the newest jar always rides up front by the register so I can get acquainted. What is it this year? Come find the truck and I'll introduce you personal. Collector's hint: I did NOT have this species before. Yes I hollered.

PAIR #312 OF 312NEW! SEE IT LIVE
THE DREAM — SAY IT WITH ME

The Permanent Tabernacle, Oatman, Arizona

I moved to Oatman for the donkeys. Saw 'em on a haul in '89 — whole herds of burros the gold miners turned loose a hundred years back, still walking down Main Street like they hold the deed. Critters the world threw away, living like kings. I bought a lot that same week. That town has been preaching my sermon since before I was born.

And that's where the Tabernacle rises: a stucco dome in the dirt outside town. Chilled reliquary hall. Copper donor wall. A reading room for the ledgers and a hitching rail out front, because the donkeys will come, and I will be ready.

THE COFFEE CAN$5,214.62 / $2,500,000
Don't you squint at that bar. Rome wasn't poured in a day. Every dime logged in pen.
Throw In a Dollar Buy a Shirt, Raise a Wall
The Tabernacle as it will stand, outside Oatman
I had this drawn up. Look at it!

Why? Friend, every creature you ever loved started with a pair like the ones in my truck. That's not crude — that's biology, and biology deserves a museum same as arrowheads and presidents. The world cuts things off and forgets 'em, in that order. I am the interruption.

— and I live in there with 'em, so you know I mean it. R.O.

The Roadshow Is Out There Right Now

Somewhere between here and Arizona there is a yellow truck full of jars, and I'm driving it. Come find me. Hear the ledger read out loud under the lights. Three dollars, same as 1997.